7 Things I’d Say to the Younger Me About “The Person [I] Really Need to Marry”


Maybe you are here because the title got you. Well, it got me too. I will break it to you gently, this is not your How To Spot Mr. Right guide but this piece is definitely very insightful you will thank yourself if you will be able to read through …

Tracy McMillan has a powerful message in this TEDx video about how we can be good at our job to “light up our corner of the world.”

  1. A total failure…That is one way to look at it but not the only way…

You may not be where you want to be right now. Life didn’t go as planned. You look at yourself and see the past relationships that didn’t work (no matter how great those guys were). Whether relationships or other aspects in life that went south, you can take over or hand over the wheel, take a detour or go another route. Map out those failures and transform them into road signs.

  1. Enter into a relationship with yourself and then you put a ring on it

Get to know yourself better. Love yourself right where you are, regardless of your size, color, hairstyle, etc. You can be your worst enemy but you can also be your best ally. Commit and be loyal to yourself if no one else will and especially when no one else will.

  1. Build a relationship with yourself to the point where you realize that you’re whole right now. That there is no man, woman, job, circumstance that can happen to you that’s going to make you more whole because you already are…this changes your life.

That is the thing, we seem to have this black hole inside of us that gravitate things from the outside. This abyss lures things that are passing. How about we fill it with what we really need?  Or Who we really need. 

  1. The places where you have your biggest challenges in life are the places where you have the most to give when you do your inner works.

We talked about map and road signs, didn’t we? They are not just for you but for others too.

  1. Mistake is not actually a failure unless you don’t learn from it and unless you don’t grow.

Face it, nobody’s perfect. We can only get as close as “almost”. We make mistakes but we can also make retakes and in that second half, we can turn the tide.

  1. About feeling whole… When you are, you are going to learn how to love people right where they are for who they are.

What you have inside of you will eventually leak in how you deal with other people.  Usually, what we lack we try to find in others. We tend to expect too much and when expectation doesn’t meet reality, we get disappointed. But when we are sure where we are and who we are, we will learn to see people as they are. This applies to all relationships.

  1. Stick to yourself, in sickness and health

Forgive. You owe it to yourself.






Author: Ivy Rufin

Ivy Rufin is a wordsmith-in-progress. She believes that she is a continuing work of art and so are her works. An average Jane with an enormous appetite for life. Here, she hopes to share her thoughts in an attempt to practice the craft, express herself and communicate with other souls out there who pursue the same goals. For now, she struggles to write daily and more often than not, it’s not her it’s the coffee talking.

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